Ozy was right. G is M from our previous meetup. I should never have remember and checked. Why? Now my inner-state is fucked up. I haven't had anxiety in a week of approaches. Not a speck. And suddenly today, after finding out that G is M and M is attending, I wake up 2 hours after going to bed nervous as a kid giving a speech in class. How fucked up is that? I was talking to my friend Chris, and I explained to him that I hung all of my motivations on the failure to get M, and that in the future, maybe... I'd get another chance. Well, it's starting to look like that chance is going to be tonight, so I need to bring my AAA+ game. Fuck, if only it could have been a few months down the road... or at least a few more weeks. I've made good progress since last 2 weeks, imo, but not enough! Well, my only option now is to warm up today and be in such a fantastically tight state when we meet tonight that I draw her into my frame and keep her there.
There is no other choice and failure is not an option.
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